This city is stuck in a lie
Like Chelyuskin in the ice.
– I read your article (relationship term) and I can say that our relationship came to an end because I closed my personal life in response to the fact that you closed yours from me and we had nothing to talk about.
– ???!!!
I wanted to insert the famous forever alone spade into the message. To answer??? And what, actually, was the question? I have never asked the details of her personal life, nor anyone else’s (my work is enough for me), and even more so I have no idea that friendship is based on digging into each other’s dirty laundry. After exchanging messages back and forth on the topic of my feelings in contact with her and her expectations of how I should behave, since I am a psychologist, a friend, and God knows who else, I came to the conclusion that there is a rule that works – if you have to explain, then it is better not to start. That the inner feeling, although it is formed for a long time and with hesitation here and there, but when it has already hardened like amber, everything is visible there with the naked eye, every fly, every chip.
After I stopped participating in this correspondence, I received a message that she is now surrounded by wonderful people, and since the world is a mirror, everything is fine with her (I’m obviously just a spot in this mirror out of place). I didn’t argue, as usual, and what you say here is good and good, I’m sorry or something. And the next day another message came that inspired me to write this, because it contained a word about love.
This word has been used so often and so much recently that I involuntarily thought about its purpose, except for fashion, it is clear that everyone loves a lot and often, for some reason, without even working to at least consider the object of love properly. To see, for example, that a person is different from you, that she is alive, that if she says that she is in pain (and she does not need anything from you), then it is so, to stop poking her nose into the subjective truth, pointing to her wrongness and self-sacrifice. But, of course, it is much easier to love everyone sitting in your car than in contact with real people, pulling off someone’s heel in a subway car at rush hour. It is much easier to generously announce that you are loved even in spite of your shortcomings, without changing anything in yourself or in your behavior. Considering that this word is like a spell, it should, according to the idea, open all the doors to the soul and back, and whoever does not respond as planned – the deck does not realize and there is no peace or harmony for him.
I remember what beautiful words my former mother-in-law used to love me, and what they were after I filed for divorce. I think everyone has such examples. When I was a child, when I complained to my brother that the boy did not love me, and I loved him very much, he said a phrase that became just a symbol for me. That the true call of love is so powerful that it is simply impossible not to answer it. Therefore, if a person, in response to my words, feels annoyance, irritation, or anything else in the name of love, it means to look inside what I “give” in reality by covering myself with this word.
I am by no means trying to devalue these words, I know for sure that they can lift you from your knees and put you on them. I’m just talking about the fact that this feeling inside should not be confused with anything, and words by themselves are of no use here. Attitudes are clearly understood by actions, which strongly distinguish friendly relations from client, trade, partnership and other bad ones. Therefore, it is not necessary to “out of politeness” “extract” information-details from me, so that after I fooled myself, answering the 25th question, which I did not want to answer, to “treat” me with articles “to read and deal with my irritation.” And you don’t need to fix me, I’m not broken, I’m just different. And you don’t need to raise me, it’s better to leave me to live as I am, next to those whom it suits. And there is no need to clarify anything with me, there is no sense in this, just as there is no need to generously forgive me, I did not ask for it.
And for God’s sake, you don’t have to “love” me, just get off my callus.
Why do we all shout at random
And let’s not be silent about
And we think everything is someone else’s,
And we walk like a pony in a circle?
you don’t understand sir
I am not asking you for a table at all.
I just thought
We have something to tell each other.
